riding home tonight in a company car, we ran into traffic on the west side highway. a mid-sized sedan tried to cut off the lincoln town car i was in but my driver wouldn't let him in.
i wasn't much paying attention until i realized just how erratically my driver was driving, when suddenly he rolls his window down and screams: "Yeah?! Well you can eat the corn outta my sh*t!"
afterwards my driver apologized to me profusely for his outburst. "I just couldn't let him get away with the rhetoric he was puttin' down, man. You know what I'm sayin'?"
i am SO going to miss the friggin' city!
31 December 2010
05 December 2010
! pack it up \ \ pack it in !
the count down has begun.
one chapter is rapidly drawing to an end and another is opening.
i can't say as i am happy about the place i'm moving to, but i figure i will give it a chance. i am open to the experience and the challenge of getting to know myself in another place.
i am anxious for things to get going, i think that's where my stress is coming from.
one chapter is rapidly drawing to an end and another is opening.
i can't say as i am happy about the place i'm moving to, but i figure i will give it a chance. i am open to the experience and the challenge of getting to know myself in another place.
i am anxious for things to get going, i think that's where my stress is coming from.
25 November 2010
21 September 2010
By Lorine Niedecker
Wilderness
You are the man
You are my other country
and I find it hard going
You are the prickly pear
You are the sudden violent storm
the torrent to raise the river
to float the wounded doe
13 August 2010
5.5
I knew it was going to be a surreal day when I came out of the subway at 14th street two days ago. There were two men sat on the curb, an older Indian man and a younger white guy with a beard. The Indian man was reading the white guy's palm. I stopped for a second and wondered if I should go have my palm read too. I didn't for many reasons, not the least of which is I prefer not knowing what's around the corner for me. Call me kooky, but it's just the way I roll. HOWEVER, had I stopped and asked him to take a look, I might have turned around and gone on back home.
There was a series of meetings set up for us: the first was to tell us that in five and a half months some of us would have no jobs, some of us would be relocated to another state and others of us will have our duties shifted.
Can you guess which group I was in?
I was told to go to another smaller meeting with a few other of my co-workers which was being held in a giant conference room. In retro, I'm thinking that maybe they felt that it would give them ample time to run and hide should someone decide to go postal.
I digress.
When we get into the room there was a bullshit plate of cookies and fruit sitting on the side, I walked past it but there was a woman, apparently from our HR Department, that I had never seen before who chirps "Have a cookie!" like she was Betty effing Crocker and was so proud of them. Maybe she was hoping to mask the knifing we were about to receive, I have no idea. Turns out we were all told that at the end of five and a half months we would no longer be employed by this company.
You could have heard a rat fart on 8th Avenue.
It was strange.
We were then informed that we would all have individual meetings with HR Reps about our options or whatever, which is stupid, because why do you care what I'm going to do next? Are you going to give me money to leave? Yeah? Good, you can keep the platitudes and the offers of 2-day seminars.
What kills me is this was done and then we are requested to stay and actually care about what we did. Really? Can you ask me that with a straight face?
To be completely honest I wish I could be as sad as all that. I'm not. I like my job, yes, but not because I like doing it. I like the people. Some way more than others, obviously, and I will miss running into them in the hallways or on the street at lunchtime, but life goes on, you leave your friends, you make new ones, the old ones that are true blue tend to stick around...
I'd actually thank my soon-to-be-former company for kicking me in the ass, it's giving me the chance to see what I'm truly made of, but I'm not. I'm going to thank the people I've met along the way for the friendships and kindnesses they've visited upon me. I know we are all going to come out of this all right...despite the sneaky ways and dark deeds of those who would have it any other way.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
There was a series of meetings set up for us: the first was to tell us that in five and a half months some of us would have no jobs, some of us would be relocated to another state and others of us will have our duties shifted.
Can you guess which group I was in?
I was told to go to another smaller meeting with a few other of my co-workers which was being held in a giant conference room. In retro, I'm thinking that maybe they felt that it would give them ample time to run and hide should someone decide to go postal.
I digress.
When we get into the room there was a bullshit plate of cookies and fruit sitting on the side, I walked past it but there was a woman, apparently from our HR Department, that I had never seen before who chirps "Have a cookie!" like she was Betty effing Crocker and was so proud of them. Maybe she was hoping to mask the knifing we were about to receive, I have no idea. Turns out we were all told that at the end of five and a half months we would no longer be employed by this company.
You could have heard a rat fart on 8th Avenue.
It was strange.
We were then informed that we would all have individual meetings with HR Reps about our options or whatever, which is stupid, because why do you care what I'm going to do next? Are you going to give me money to leave? Yeah? Good, you can keep the platitudes and the offers of 2-day seminars.
What kills me is this was done and then we are requested to stay and actually care about what we did. Really? Can you ask me that with a straight face?
To be completely honest I wish I could be as sad as all that. I'm not. I like my job, yes, but not because I like doing it. I like the people. Some way more than others, obviously, and I will miss running into them in the hallways or on the street at lunchtime, but life goes on, you leave your friends, you make new ones, the old ones that are true blue tend to stick around...
I'd actually thank my soon-to-be-former company for kicking me in the ass, it's giving me the chance to see what I'm truly made of, but I'm not. I'm going to thank the people I've met along the way for the friendships and kindnesses they've visited upon me. I know we are all going to come out of this all right...despite the sneaky ways and dark deeds of those who would have it any other way.
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
11 August 2010
30 July 2010
also loved
in one hand
half a broken heart
in the other
a blue flamed fire
below me
echoes and shadows
above
wide blue expanses
time was
i'd let this loneliness
name me
time is
i welcome it
whisper it
into the hollows
of an endless soul
write it on my skin
tattoo it to the sky
let it sing out
with every breath drawn
and shudder
in ecstasy
with every step
hell yes
i am nameless
but i am also loved
with or without
i am so
half a broken heart
in the other
a blue flamed fire
below me
echoes and shadows
above
wide blue expanses
time was
i'd let this loneliness
name me
time is
i welcome it
whisper it
into the hollows
of an endless soul
write it on my skin
tattoo it to the sky
let it sing out
with every breath drawn
and shudder
in ecstasy
with every step
hell yes
i am nameless
but i am also loved
with or without
i am so
20 July 2010
a prayer
we are born
we grow
we live
we die
if we are lucky we have family and friends that know us and love us...
where ever we go and whatever we do we can know that the spirit of the mother and the spirit of the father are alive in each of us and everything good already exists within ourselves.
we grow
we live
we die
if we are lucky we have family and friends that know us and love us...
where ever we go and whatever we do we can know that the spirit of the mother and the spirit of the father are alive in each of us and everything good already exists within ourselves.
02 July 2010
a ruin
i need to go
get some air
and let it
blow you from
my heart
i never wanted
to be everything
i just wanted to be
at least enough
for now
as it is
i'll forever be
trying to fit
together the pieces
of an impossble puzzle
get some air
and let it
blow you from
my heart
i never wanted
to be everything
i just wanted to be
at least enough
for now
as it is
i'll forever be
trying to fit
together the pieces
of an impossble puzzle
28 June 2010
By Robert Creeley
I Know a Man
As I sd to my
As I sd to my
friend, because I am
always talking,—John, I
sd, which was not his
name, the darkness sur-
rounds us, what
can we do against
it, or else, shall we &
why not, buy a goddamn big car,
drive, he sd, for
christ’s sake, look
out where yr going.
21 June 2010
in harlem
i am sitting in my apartment at my computer, my back is killing me. my curtains are open to the world and the woman across the street from me keeps popping out of her front door to beat her mats. i keep seeing ito ut of my peripheral vision and it keeps bugging me. i almost want to yell out the window to tell her to wrap it up and go inside, it's late.
20 June 2010
By Jalal Al-Din Rumi
Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing,
there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language,
even the phrase 'each other'
doesn't make any sense.
there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language,
even the phrase 'each other'
doesn't make any sense.
17 June 2010
By Nikki Giovanni
A Poem Of Friendship
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save
I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together
14 June 2010
By Pablo Neruda
Sonnet XVII (100 Love Sonnets, 1960)
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose,
topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose,
topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.
29 May 2010
city moon
there is a good moon
over this night time city
and i'm feeling all right
the seasoned sidewalks
under my feet
have their story to tell
and if i listen long enough
i can hear lives
and loves...
i been on this road
such a long time
that getting lost
feels like going home
i thought
i had all the answers
once
but every opening door
only led to more questions
over this night time city
and i'm feeling all right
the seasoned sidewalks
under my feet
have their story to tell
and if i listen long enough
i can hear lives
and loves...
i been on this road
such a long time
that getting lost
feels like going home
i thought
i had all the answers
once
but every opening door
only led to more questions
28 May 2010
a divine despair
and the scream is
louder than bombs
ripping through the core
right into the heart
of a generation who's skin
is beaten to the tattoo
of a ragged heartbeat
singing a potent rage
though the veins
like ice water
feeding an unquenchable fire
with a destruction so exquisite
laying waste everything
all pure
good
evil
all gone
devastation so complete
even Jah sheds volcanic tears
a divine despair
over massacred souls
***
inspired by Sheldon "Miloindedance" Scott, heaven/hell, Jamacia
louder than bombs
ripping through the core
right into the heart
of a generation who's skin
is beaten to the tattoo
of a ragged heartbeat
singing a potent rage
though the veins
like ice water
feeding an unquenchable fire
with a destruction so exquisite
laying waste everything
all pure
good
evil
all gone
devastation so complete
even Jah sheds volcanic tears
a divine despair
over massacred souls
***
inspired by Sheldon "Miloindedance" Scott, heaven/hell, Jamacia
17 May 2010
unstrung friend
the face in the mirror
is a lie. i don't trust
the reflection i see. the
shadows of hard days
gone by smudging the
skin under the eyes,
cloudy with too much
work and not enough
sleep. i can't bare to
look at myself. the face
in the mirror is definitely
a lie. whoever is in there
has very obviously come
undone, and i wonder
about her. i don't know her
but i worry that people who
do know her don't recognize
that there is an unstrung
friend moving silently
amongst them, smiling, nodding
at their stories and woes
revealing little of herself.
i feel sorry for her,
the face in the mirror.
the beautiful, unstrung
friend, hidden and
moving through it
alone.
is a lie. i don't trust
the reflection i see. the
shadows of hard days
gone by smudging the
skin under the eyes,
cloudy with too much
work and not enough
sleep. i can't bare to
look at myself. the face
in the mirror is definitely
a lie. whoever is in there
has very obviously come
undone, and i wonder
about her. i don't know her
but i worry that people who
do know her don't recognize
that there is an unstrung
friend moving silently
amongst them, smiling, nodding
at their stories and woes
revealing little of herself.
i feel sorry for her,
the face in the mirror.
the beautiful, unstrung
friend, hidden and
moving through it
alone.
28 February 2010
Broadway & Prince
coffee hot and sweet
a snowy day
on a corner
in new york
flakes falling
kissing my eyelids
and cheeks
the subway
below my feet and
i - am ok.
i ask you
and try to tell me
what can be more
than this?
a snowy day
on a corner
in new york
flakes falling
kissing my eyelids
and cheeks
the subway
below my feet and
i - am ok.
i ask you
and try to tell me
what can be more
than this?
22 February 2010
2222010
The city was bathed in this strange watery light today as I tooled around in the streets. Days like this usually leave me feeling hopeful for - what I have no idea, but there is an aching in my bones for something new and a lightness in my heart that lets me know it's on the way.
18 February 2010
it's been a while.
yes...but you know how life is: you get tied up and tied down (not as kinky as it sounds...unless you're into that sort of thing)
i was vegging on my couch this morning thinking about the things i haven't done. or that i need to do. my creative muscles are atrophying over here.
i'm not going to make any promises because i can't ever really seem to keep them. but i will say this: i am going to do better.
hm
yes...but you know how life is: you get tied up and tied down (not as kinky as it sounds...unless you're into that sort of thing)
i was vegging on my couch this morning thinking about the things i haven't done. or that i need to do. my creative muscles are atrophying over here.
i'm not going to make any promises because i can't ever really seem to keep them. but i will say this: i am going to do better.
hm
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