so i have a friend that stayed with me all weekend, who needed my attention and so she came over and we hung out in my city. she kept saying that she was very proud of me and my sense of direction and the way i can navigate through the city. i kept saying that it took practice for me to understand what i'm doing when i am getting around.
this particular friend and i have known each other for a very, very long time and if i were to trust anyone's opinion of me it would be her's. i trust that when i am f*cked up, she would tell me that i am...just like if i'm doing good, she would tell me that i'm OK. not that i need the validation or the rebuke, but i think at some level we all seek to have that kind of dialogue.
this time, though, she needed me to take care of her. so i did what i do, i took care of her. i made her comfortable, i was gentle with her. i made her food and alcohol, let her sleep, we talked and talked about the things that were plaguing both of us...and she doesn't know it, but doing that calmed me down. it took the pressure off me that i have been feeling for the last few months. makes me wonder if i were not put on this earth to care for people because it feels so natural for me to do it.
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