a poem for youi am not yours
i said
- unbelievably -
i am not yours some how
and yet
i want to be
standing here
alone as i am
the most dangerous thing
full of life and pain
as i am
and what emotions bring
pull in me close
and push me away
all at one time
i am not yours i say
and you
won't be mine
and now is finished
what once was
i cannot
win it back
i will go search
to find
the damages i lack
this is something that i just rattled off in response to the distress i have been feeling the last few days. what kills me most is that it rhymes and ha a definite rhythm to it. i never rhyme anything.
i want to say that it's just me being a woman, but there are certain contributing factors and parties, that have added 3 fold to what's going on inside of me causing me serious moments of self-doubt.
but you see, i know i was the one to put myself into this hole and now i have to dig myself out. a friend told me tonight that i won't get over this for a while and that i should use the time wisely by creating. and i know he is aboso-smurfly right; i need to finish up the paintings i have here and i should get my words on paper and out of my head, but i cannot face it. i need to spend time getting out of my own head and work on getting better and i know this, but i just can't.
i was told tonight that i was self-indulgent...as if it's a bad thing.
my argument is: who else will do it?
ah, whatever...i am just tired...i have a shot of rum with a beer back waiting for me right now. i need a quick ride into temporary oblivion tonight and i definitely plan on indulging myself with that.
i said
- unbelievably -
i am not yours some how
and yet
i want to be
standing here
alone as i am
the most dangerous thing
full of life and pain
as i am
and what emotions bring
pull in me close
and push me away
all at one time
i am not yours i say
and you
won't be mine
and now is finished
what once was
i cannot
win it back
i will go search
to find
the damages i lack
this is something that i just rattled off in response to the distress i have been feeling the last few days. what kills me most is that it rhymes and ha a definite rhythm to it. i never rhyme anything.
i want to say that it's just me being a woman, but there are certain contributing factors and parties, that have added 3 fold to what's going on inside of me causing me serious moments of self-doubt.
but you see, i know i was the one to put myself into this hole and now i have to dig myself out. a friend told me tonight that i won't get over this for a while and that i should use the time wisely by creating. and i know he is aboso-smurfly right; i need to finish up the paintings i have here and i should get my words on paper and out of my head, but i cannot face it. i need to spend time getting out of my own head and work on getting better and i know this, but i just can't.
i was told tonight that i was self-indulgent...as if it's a bad thing.
my argument is: who else will do it?
ah, whatever...i am just tired...i have a shot of rum with a beer back waiting for me right now. i need a quick ride into temporary oblivion tonight and i definitely plan on indulging myself with that.
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